delighted to be

finding “me” / june 4, 2014

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(wish I knew who to give credit to for the above image!)

I haven’t been myself lately.

That phrase alone sounds so cliché but I don’t know how else to describe pregnancy other than “it sucks the life right out of me”. I really just never feel like doing much the entire nine months.

Give me the remote control and Netflix. Or give me my kindle preloaded with a juicy romance novel. And give me some ice water and something crunchy to snack on while you’re at it, please. I’ll be right here on the couch supervising the three-year old train-track building.

I think I’ve mentioned this before with my last pregnancy, how all of my hobbies get thrown out the window and I lose my sense of identity. I look at myself, my beautiful pregnant self, in the mirror each day and think, Who am I without my love of cooking? Why don’t I get excited to read cookbooks and make dinner for friends and host picnic playdates anymore? Where did my love of DIY and sewing projects go? Who is this mother who all of a sudden has zero energy to even take her one child outside of the house?!

Why is it so dang difficultto do the most ordinary tasks when I’m growing a child in my belly? You’d think I’d have it down by the third pregnancy and know how to just suck it up. But it’s literally a day-to-day struggle of, “who is this swollen-footed sloth that has replaced me?”

It’s emotionally exhausting and depressing for me. It’s like I know I am capable of so much more but yet find myself consistently underperforming again and again and again.

And lest you think it’s just the tail-end of pregnancy that I’m feeling this way, it’s not. I get a little spurt of energy in the middle trimester (I joined a preschool rotation! We went to Sea World several times! I decorated a nursery!) but that’s just it – it’s a spurt of energy. On an everyday basis the entire nine months I still find myself struggling to love the things I used to. I have to abandon the things that make me who I am for almost an entire year.

It’s kind of soul-crushing, really.

BUT! Soon I’ll be myself again. A different version of myself (new & improved with two kids in tow!), but I’ll certainly be more me. And hallelujah for that. :)

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/ may 30, 2014

Dear baby Owen,

Your Daddy says I need to stop being so anxious, and be patient for your arrival. You’ll be here soon, he says. The truth is that he’s just as anxious as I am, but he’s better at hiding it. ;)

I keep thinking about the moment that I meet you, about the moment that we will first look into each other’s eyes. Will we be strangers? Will there be recognition? I feel like I know you already, Owen.

I might cry. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Your room is ready, did you know that? And Daddy put Bunny Amelia in your crib so you’d feel right at home. (Maybe she should come to the hospital with us too, because after all she is a part of the family.)

It’s hard that you’re not physically in my arms just yet, but I understand why you’d want to soak up these last few days in heaven with Amelia. I get it. Give her a hug for me, would you? Tell her I think about her every single day and love her so much.

Owen, do you know how long I’ve waited for you? And now I’m so close to physically holding you in my arms that it’s almost excruciating to my heart. Come out, already.

I’ll see you soon, baby boy.

xoxo, Mama

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the nursery reveal!! / may 29, 2014

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Finally, three weeks before his due date, Owen’s nursery is finished!

It actually came out fairly close to how I envisioned it, too. True to our Jones nature, we didn’t spend a lot of money – most everything in the room is either DIY and/or a hand-me-down. (I did convince Tyler to let me buy a new crib, the rug underneath it, and the changing pad – I think those were our only real “nursery” purchases?)

Granted, I would have LOVED an ikea expedit bookshelf instead of the one we have in there, and a new rocking chair or glider would be nice. But we’re using what we have and I’m really proud of how it all came together.

Here are some of the details:

freddiethefox mobile dresser unfinished

^^Just keepin’ it real. Here’s the unfinished corner – I still need art to go in the big white frame, and we need to reupholster and fix the broken rocking chair. And obviously shove those plastic bins in the closet. ;)

Here’s the breakdown for where I got things if you’re interested:

crib: ikea gulliver
blanket on crib: ikea malin band throw
fox stuffed animal: jellycat brand from amazon – all three of our kids have animals from the cordy roy collection
OWEN letters: see my DIY here
star mobile: DIY (used dowels, twine, and glitter star stickers from Michaels)
star wall decals: walls need love in silver
dresser: already owned, used with Jack
felt ball garland: from brickyard buffalo (find similar from hellomaypole)
oversized you are so loved print: adapted from my friend holland’s design (I will blog about this soon and share the printable)
boppy cover: see my DIY here
“jones” watercolor print: painted by my friend Amanda (I will share a close-up later when this wall is done because it’s incredible!)
sheer curtains: already owned from Target

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Recipe: Arugula Goat Cheese Pizza / may 28, 2014

arugulagoatcheesepizza

Something I’ve been craving a lot at the end of this pregnancy is salad. With all three pregnancies, I crave salad like a madwoman in the first and last trimesters. (Kind of gross to be craving it when I’m nauseated and puking, huh?)

We tried out Blaze Pizza at the Carlsbad Outlets a week ago, and Tyler had arugula on his pizza. I tried a bite and found myself at Trader Joe’s the next day picking up a bag. :) I’ve always avoided it because it gets deemed as a “spicy” and “peppery” lettuce, but it turns out I really like it!

We’ve been making pizza about once a week around here, and this is my new go-to recipe. Next time I’d even add toasted walnuts – they’d be incredible!

Arugula + Goat Cheese + Caramelized Onion Pizza

Serves 2-4

NOTE: I have found the best way to use Trader Joe’s pizza dough is to give it a good, long rest on the counter before you use it. It says to take it out of the fridge 20 minutes before baking, but I like to give it a rest out of the fridge for 40 minutes to an hour. I oil a small bowl, plop the dough in, and spread some oil on top to keep it moist. Then I just let it sit for a bit while I’m prepping my pizza ingredients.

1 batch pizza dough (we like the herbed kind at Trader Joes)
1 onion (red, white, or yellow is fine)
2 tiny red potatoes
honey goat cheese
a few big handfuls of arugula
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
s&p

Preheat your oven to 500-degrees. If you have a pizza stone, make sure your stone is in the oven preheating as well.

Set your pizza dough aside. While it’s resting, slice your onion very thinly and toss it in a skillet with a tiny bit of oil. Cook it for at least 20 minutes on medium-low heat until it is nice and caramelized.

While the onions are going, slice your potatoes very thinly. Keep them in a bowl of water until you’re ready to use them so they don’t brown. (Dry them with a paper towel before putting them on your pizza.)

When your onions are almost ready, thinly roll out your pizza dough*. Brush your dough with olive oil, and evenly distribute the caramelized onions on top. Then crumble on some goat cheese, and layer with the potatoes. Salt and pepper it, and cook it in the oven until it’s got a nice, golden crust.

After pulling the pizza out of the oven, top with arugula, and drizzle with balsamic vinegar. Slice and enjoy!

*There are tons of methods for doing this, but we have found the easiest for us is to roll it out on parchment paper on top of a thin flexible cutting board. Then when it’s time we just slide the pizza and the parchment onto our stone in the oven.

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