delighted to be

a BOY. / january 22, 2014

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So here’s the thing. I fully expected if I took the GIANT leap of faith to have another baby, that God would send me another girl. That’s how it works, right?

I 100% expected a girl, and planned the nursery in my head. I knew her name. I was ecstatic for the first time in my life about hairbows and pink moccasins and jammies with hearts on them. BOY, was I wrong.

It’s not that I’m disappointed with a boy. We actually really wanted a boy with Jack. And this little brother will be really, really good for him. It’s just unexpected. As soon as I saw it was undeniably a boy on the ultrasound, I gasped. I am still waiting for it to sink in.

Baby boy jones, know that your mama loves you. We feel so blessed you are healthy and strong. I’m actually really jealous of how much time you’re still able to spend with your big sister Amelia right now. Do you have any idea how long we’ve waited for you? You’re going to be so good for our little family, little man. You are so loved.

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Christmas 2013 / january 13, 2014

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Does Christmas feel like it was ages ago to you too? Being newly pregnant, buying a house and moving across the state all during Christmas season was a little crazy for us! By the time I was (mostly) unpacked, I realized Christmas was less than ten days away – eeek!

But I pulled it off. Santa got a plate of cookies on Christmas eve (we hear his favorite are chocolate chip), we managed to watch the old Rudolph and Frosty movies a few times, and Jack learned all about Jesus’ birth and how Jesus used to be a baby too.

My parents hosted the first-ever Family Christmas Party, which was a big success. We missed my sister’s family there, but with almost everyone in attendance it was still a lot of fun. I perfected restaurant-style Mexican rice (no easy feat – I should post the recipe before I lose it!), and we had a Mexican feast for Christmas complete with tamales, beans, rice, salad and fried ice cream. We decorated cookies, met Santa, played pin-the-nose-on-rudolph (this was the best activity I think), made ornaments, swapped books (a yearly gift-giving tradition among the grandchildren), re-enacted the Nativity story, and also went caroling! I am already looking forward to next year and feel so incredibly blessed to have such a close-knit family.

Christmas eve and day was low-key for us Joneses, just how we like it. We had my parents and my sister Logan over for Christmas dinner, and spent the rest of the time as just our little family of three. I feel like it helps in the gratitude and reflection department a little more without too much extended family chaos.

The mood was different this year, and I fully welcomed it. As I looked at our stockings hung on the mantle, I was actually excited to hang a fifth one after Amelia’s. Next Christmas we will be a family of five, and I’ve realized I’m more than ready for it. :)

…and now for a plethora of photos. Apologies! (kind of.)

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(and now here’s our little Jones family Christmas)

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^^After opening Christmas Eve jammies, we set out cookies for Santa and read the story of Jesus’ birth along telling the story with our Nativity advent calendar.

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^^This little kid, out of nowhere, started requesting a “red bike” for Christmas the entire month of December. And Mom & Dad delivered. :)

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^^My Christmas was Imagine Dragons concert tickets!! Tyler bought them BEFORE we had any idea we’d be moving, and even though they were also playing in the Bay Area he decided to buy them for San Diego. Inspiration much? ;)

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I don’t have to. / january 2, 2014

As I watched the first sunset of 2014 yesterday (it was gorgeous, by the way), I thought about Amelia. I felt guilty for being so happy since we left her last month.

It felt strange to see this old, burdened soul of mine free from her memories. It’s like I’m rediscovering me again and it’s the most breathtaking, beautiful view.

I don’t have to drive down the same freeway that I remember so vividly holding her in my arms in the backseat the day she came home from the hospital. I don’t have to sit on that very spot of our couch in that living room anymore where Jack met her at home. I don’t have to visit the same obgyn office or the same hospital and be flooded with memories of her. I don’t have to drive past the cemetery exit and feel guilty because I haven’t visited her in over a month.

I don’t have to. And it’s finally a relief.

As long as I was in that house, in that city, in that mindset, I was broken and grieved.

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I love our new house, and I love our new city. I can feel her here too, but it’s different. Lighter. Calmer. Contained.

I see her in the warm sunsets at the beach. I feel her in the new baby kicking around in my belly. I felt her love all Christmas season long, celebrating right there with our family in spirit. It’s joyful and exciting and refreshing to see her this way, and I hope she feels the same about me.

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…and we’re back! / december 12, 2013

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Our Christmas letter is up! Thanks to our big move the first week of December (um, last week?), we got it out a little late this year. Apologies for those of you who received Christmas cards with a link that didn’t go anywhere! :)

We’re slowly (but quickly?) getting settled into our new house. The downstairs has a few “piles” here and there, but other than that it is quite livable. Jack’s room still has a wall of boxes (which I can tell he really hates – he told me this morning our new home is “messy”) but those all go in the spare bedroom, which is also full of boxes to go up in the attic. So we’re kind of at a stand-off there, but it should all be resolved soon.

In other happy news, we are loving our home and being back in San Diego. It just feels like home after a long stint of feeling lost and a little ungrounded in the Bay Area. We had so many close friends up there but it just never felt like it was ever going to be the place we would settle down in. Now we are so close (30 minutes!) to a lot of my family, which has been a blast especially for Jack. Tyler loves his office, and I love how close I am to Trader Joe’s AND Sprout’s! (Can you tell I’m barely starting to venture into cooking again? Baby steps.)

Once we are past the holidays, I’ll share photos of our new house here on the blog. I haven’t decorated much, but I did manage to find the perfect place to hang Angus this morning:

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After all, it wouldn’t be the Jones house without this pretty lady hanging on the wall. ;)

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