Yesterday, I wanted a baby. I longed to nurse and hold an infant close to my chest, breathing with her up & down, in & out. She’d keep breathing for as long as I lived, and my fears about loss would cease to exist.
Yesterday I longed for a house to call our own, where we’d mark Jack’s height on the kitchen door and host summer barbeques in the backyard. We’d hang shelves and Jack would learn to ride a bike in our cul-de-sac. We’d bring babies home from the hospital to our home.
Today, I realized there’s something really neat to be said about the relationship I have with Jack, right here, right now. Maybe I don’t want to interrupt that just yet.
Today I’m content where we are, and I’m happy just being here. Maybe I’d love living in San Francisco. Maybe I’d love Berkeley. Or maybe I’d really be the happiest housewife somewhere in the ‘burbs of the east bay, in an old house with a cul-de-sac at the end of our street.
Slow down silly girl, and enjoy life right here & right now. It’s sunny outside and the weather is lovely.