My mama heart can be so fragile sometimes, and get so beaten up by the world around me.

We are taught in our church that it is a mother’s primary responsibility to nurture our children. I graduated from college, but gave up a career to focus my talents instead on littler eyes and ears. I wanted to be a mother, first and foremost. But sometimes I wish I could trade places with Tyler; sometimes I wish I could be the one to earn a salary raise or get praise for my hard work at a quarterly review.

Instead, I am responsible for the protection of my children’s hearts. What a big responsibility that is, with little noticeable reward.

My soul is exhausted and weary. I have had long nights of pleading with the Lord in prayer on behalf of my child(ren), that I might somehow, someday become the mother that (they) need me to be. I’ve got a long ways to go, and sometimes my faith is so little. I often feel like I don’t measure up. I could be doing more, I should be doing more. On especially difficult days, I am certain heaven is sending angels to watch over me so I don’t screw things up too badly.

Elder Holland promises us, “…it is clear that some of those Rhode Island–sized shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you.

…Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.”

This work is hard. It is taxing and trying on a tender heart like mine. It’s emotionally exhausting and sometimes sleepless. But this role is uniquely mine and yours, and is the core of our purposes here in mortality.

If you’re feeling burnt out, please please take the time to listen the above talk. Listen to it while you’re loading the dishwasher and sweeping up the crumbs underneath the kitchen table for the third time today. Listen to it when you’re finally hopping in the shower at 5pm, or when you’re cleaning up legos.

It’s applicable to mothers, and everyone should hear it. It’s not preachy, and it’s not even Mormon-y or gospel-y. It will lift your heart, brighten your mood, and renew your faith in motherhood.