My littlest Jack Jack,

As I write this our gardeners are noisily blowing leaves right outside your window. I keep checking in on you, but you are sleeping peacefully; you are blissfully unaware of the world outside your dreams.

Jack, I’m pretty sure you were sent to our family for a reason. You’re the first kid, and I think before you came here you knew what was up. Maybe God sat down and had a talk with you or something.

You knew the death of your little sister Amelia would crush your mama’s heart to pieces, and that you’d be responsible to help put her back together again. You agreed to be kind and gentle and loving, because for almost the entire second year of your life your mama would be in pain. She’d neglect you and your needs – she’d absentmindedly forget to change your diaper or feed you snack. She’d even go through a period of time where she stopped playing on the floor with you or read you books. You forgave her for these shortcomings, as this wasn’t the type of pain that could be fixed. You recognized this and knew she’d need lots of hugs, snuggles, and kisses to help her get through it.

You knew this would be hard, Jack, and yet you still agreed to come to our family first. You knew you’d be faced with trials much bigger than a two-year old should have to bear.

You shouldn’t recognize what tears are as they roll down your mama’s face, and how it means her heart aches for your sister. You shouldn’t know what it feels like to see the depth of hurt in your mama’s eyes when she sees pictures of her lost baby.

And yet you do, Jack. You tell me with your big brown eyes that it’s okay to feel emotion, that it’s okay to cry, mama.

Your emotional capacities transcend your age. I don’t say this facetiously, and I don’t mean that you’re better than other two-year olds out there. But your personality is so unlike what a little man should be like. You are nurturing and kind when you should be untamed and reckless. There’s even the littlest bit inside you that refuses to grow up, but that’s okay, you know that right?

I love you, my littlest Jack Jack.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude and a thankful heart that you came to our family when you did, and that you didn’t shy away from a challenge. You are the strongest, bravest little man I know.

The world is yours. I love you eternally.

xo, Mama