Tyler and I will always have a special place in our hearts for San Diego. I was raised there, and Tyler landed his first (two) jobs there. So when we decided  to move to San Jose, it was a really tough decision. But I knew we’d be back. My parents have taken up (very) permanent residence there, my sister and her family are also close by, and Tyler’s work’s main office is based there. There are always excuses to visit.

After I found out about Amelia, I decided with my sisters that I needed to plan a few things to get me motivated. After Amelia died, I didn’t want to mope on the couch feeling sorry for myself. So I planned a few things to get me out of a rut; essentially things to inspire me to keep going. One of those things was The Color Run, a 5k that drenches you in colored happiness. Clouds and clouds of the brightest colors you’ve ever seen, and the best part was it was impossible not to be surrounded in it.

It was liberating to run in the very same city we decided to become a family of four in, right back where we started. I wore my necklace and my bracelet with her named engraved on it, and as it repeatedly thumped against my skin while running I was reminded of her. In another circumstance it would be annoying to wear jewelry while running, but now it has the opposite effect. When I run she is with me, skin to skin. I was reminded of why I did this, and why I chose to carry her. I was reminded that my body is a unique gift from our Father in Heaven and I am so lucky to have it. I was reminded of the knowledge and capacities that I have. That my body is essentially whole and complete and beautiful. How lucky I am to simply be.