Lately I’ve felt so blessed.

Blessed with the most wonderful, easy toddler who judging by his face,doesn’t quite understand why I’m crying but will give me a hug and try to make me smile anyway.

Blessed with dear friends who I’ve only known for a few short months but still graciously babysit Jack when we have an appointment at the hospital. Or will bring over jamba juice in her pajamas, because I haven’t gotten dressed yet for the day either.

Blessed with the ability to carry a child. To feel her strong kicks and punches and hiccups, and know that for now, she is alive and thriving. Because of me.

Blessed with a wonderful, compassionate, empathetic husband who will draw up a hot bath for me even though it’s 10:30pm and will just hold me when I burst into tears in the middle of the kitchen because I was too overwhelmed to cook dinner. Somehow he is okay with this day after day after day.

Blessed with loving parents and in-laws, who care so deeply for our little family and wish more than anything that they could take this pain away from their children.

Blessed with a supportive church community of women. It’s like having more sisters and mothers and grandmothers than I could ever ask for, all who are willing to help and comfort and give service to our family as needed.

Blessed with dozens of emails and blog comments that are exactly what I needed to hear that day. Blessed (and surprised!) that so many have reached out.

Blessed with a beautiful home, that though it is often messy and the dishes are left undone, gives our family a sacred, safe place to grow closer to one another.

Blessed with the ability to write my feelings and share them with others.

Blessed with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the knowledge I have of eternal families. I don’t know all the details, but someday, somehow, I will be with Amelia again. She will be waiting for me to come home, bursting with love and open arms.