If you haven’t read day one of our story, read it here (or scroll down to the next post) first.
Well, the Lord kindly sent us the baby girl we’d been hoping and praying for. Her name is Amelia.
My heart stopped yesterday and I couldn’t hold back the tears of gratitude when the hospital sonogram technician announced baby jones was indeed a girl. My eyes welled up with tears when we finally got to see her perfect tiny fingers and toes on the screen.
Every doctor we’ve seen has expressed their shock at how calmly Tyler and I have handled the situation. Today we are smiling, as hard as the situation might be. But don’t let it fool you; we are hurting deeply inside. I’ve cried myself to sleep the past two nights, knowing that I might never get to meet our sweet Amelia alive here on earth.
Yesterday we met at the Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, CA in the perinatal services ward. We and the doctors were able to get a better look at baby Amelia. She’s beautiful. She has ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes that she couldn’t wait to show off. She’s got long, slender legs and a cute squishy bum. Her heart is strong and vibrant. Essentially, her body from the neck down is nearly perfect.
Friends, I’d like you to meet baby Amelia:
She’s looking right at you, with her cute button nose and big eyes. I’d like to think she’s smiling for us in this picture.
We then got a chance to talk to the doctor one-on-one about our situation. We explained “terminating the pregnancy” was NOT an option, and though we know sweet Amelia cannot live outside the womb, we want her to know she is welcome here. She needs a body, and I am the only one that can provide that for her.
This pregnancy will continue as normal as possible, as if I was carrying a perfectly healthy baby. I am not considered high-risk because (aside from the normal risks of carrying a child) there are no added risks. We know the outcome, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to change it.
Anencephaly babies have a 75% chance of living full-term (40 weeks), and most are deaf and blind. I strongly feel that as long as Amelia is living and breathing inside of me there is a reason for it. We will make decisions much later, but right now it seems that a c-section may give us the best chance of (at least Tyler) getting to meet Amelia while she’s alive on this earth.
I’m grateful for every moment I get to spend with her. She’s connected to me, and without me she cannot live. Right here and right now, we desperately need one another. Though she may never get to see my face or hear my voice with her physical body, I know our spirits will forever be connected. We’re already best friends, Amelia and I.
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/official-statement/abortion
I know that you are probably still reeling from the news of your unborn child diagnosed with Anencephaly. Indeed it is very tragic. I express my sympathy towards you. You may find this suggestion offensive and utterly out of the question, but you need to seriously consider an abortion. The above is a link to an official church webpage regarding the stance on abortion. Abortion is allowable in these kinds of rare circumstances. You probably don’t need to be told any of this I’m sure, but a baby with Anencephaly has almost no chance of surviving birth, and will die within a few hours or days after at best. In my personal opinion, it is wrong to intentionally allow this kind of human condition to continue to exist.
Thanks for expressing your opinion, but we’ve already made our decision. Amelia is welcome to live here on earth as long as our Heavenly Father’s timetable allows. Because they lack a brain, anencephaly babies experience no physical pain in their mortal bodies. This gives us comfort that if the Lord allows, we may meet Amelia’s sweet spirit face to face here on earth.
Bless you
You two are amazing. I am so grateful to have examples like you and Tyler in my life – always living with the eternal perspective. I know a million people might way it, but your family (including sweet Amelia) is in my prayers. :)
*muah*
Alex, you guys amaze me at your strength. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, but I don’t know how I would ever be able to do it. The Lord really has a plan for each and every one of us. You are amazing for giving this precious and valiant spirit a body. You and your family is in my prayers.
Hi, you dont know me, but i knew Tyler from seminary… I wanted to let you know that a dear friend of mine just lost her boy who had Hydrancephaly, i dont know how similar it is to ancephaly, but basically her boy was born missing most of his brain. But by an amazing miracle he lived to be 7 years old! He was a blessing to all he came in contact with, and i hope your sweet Amelia will be able to do the same, and be a piece of heaven to you and your family. My friend is April Moody and her blog is winkfromheaven.blogspot.com. She has a lot of great posts and insights of her life with her sweet boy caleb.
sorry to keep commenting, but below is a BYU devotional given by my friend Aprils husband. It is an amazing talk and gives so much hope and talks about his sweet boy caleb :)
http://byutv.org//watch/8127d2ea-99bb-4096-99c9-a44ca326c3e5?fb_ref=uu%3D%3As%3DshowShareBarUI%3Ap%3Dfacebook-like&fb_source=timeline
This is beautiful! You two are as strong as ever and I truly admire your powerful testimonies. Thank you for being strong and seeing the big picture… it’s comforting. In our prayers. loves to your amazing family!
This is such a sobering post. Thank you for sharing your strength, testimony, and beautiful baby girl. I am so glad that you are able to see this in an eternal perspective. Bless you and your family.
You and Tyler have incredible strength. I admire and love you. If you need anything, I’m here.
Wow, you guys are so amazing! Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. If there’s anything Shauna and I can do for you (from afar) let us know.
Dear Sister, you have greatly blessed those who know you. You have lifted up many, with the choice you have made to nurture your tiny one as long as she may be here. You and your sweetheart have a deep testimony of the knowledge Heavenly Father that knows your little one by name. As he knows and loves you. May your hearts be comforted, this is not surely what you expected. My love is with you…though you cannot know me by name.
Oh, Alie, I just cried as I read your post about your sweet baby girl. As a fellow mother, I have so much admiration for how you’re handling this news. It’s times like these that I’m reminded about how blessed we are to have the Plan of Salvation. I’ll say a little prayer for you and your Amelia!
We have not met yet, but my daughter Sara is married to
Tyler’s uncle, David Gleim. Sara shared your blog with me and we are both amazed by your faith and grace. What an amazing testimony you have, and what a beautiful Forever Family you will have. Please know, that when you are having your darkest days, there will be people you have never met praying for your family and your precious daughter. Thank you for sharing your family’s inspiring story.
I’m so sadden to read of baby Amelia. How faithful and strong you are. Hopefully all of our extra prayers and thoughts for you will buoy you up.
Your strength and love for your Amelia is beyond heroic. My love and prayers to you, Tyler and your family, always.. <3
Your posts made me cry. Your incredible strength, eternal perspective, unselfishness, and love for Amelia and wanting to do what’s best for her and your family truly brought me comfort and I know you, Tyler, and Jack will make it through this and it will make you a stronger person and a stronger family for happening at this point in your life. Your words and optimism truly amaze me. I love you and am praying for you.