Yes, I’m still alive my friends.

My days are just mundane, and nobody wants to read about how I cleaned a poopy bum for the third time in three hours yesterday.

But can I sneak a moment and tell you about love? Can we talk for a minute about much more love I have for Jack today than three months ago when he turned one?

Many of my dear friends have had their little ones turn one these past few weeks, and I see them going through the same thing I went through when Jack exited the “month” phase and became just a “one year old”. I sobbed and cried and wished for those days when he just curled up, cradled in my arms.

Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t go back and weep over those baby days. The little guy has blossomed into a true little man (a mini-human, rather) with a personality. He’s always had a personality. He was silly, giggly Jack that would laugh and smile all the time. But he’s found a sort of independence lately and I love it more than I thought I would.

He dances. He claps in excitement. He says “tickle tickle tickle” (those were my first words too!) and squeals in laughter. He plays hide and seek (boo!) with Daddy every morning around the house. These are things he knew around 12 months, and they were cool.

But mamas, it just gets cooler! Now he shakes his head no and says his gibberish, muddled version of “all done!” when he’s done eating, instead of pushing it away or throwing it. He holds his feet up to me when he wants his shoes and socks put on. He tries to put on Daddy’s shoes and socks that are left by the door. He makes every effort to gently place his water bottle in the cup holder on his high chair, making sure it’s straight and doesn’t fall. He talks to me in long, drawn-out sentences that don’t make any sense to me, but every word means so much to him.

His kisses are fonder, and gentler. His hugs are more sincere. He actually takes time to look at the words and pictures in books now. He just understands so much more than he did at a year, and keeps learning and growing every.single.day.

I wouldn’t trade those baby days for anything, and I hold them dear in my heart. But there’s a bond between me and Jack and Daddy that was carved only by time. Whatever connection I thought I felt with my baby at birth has only multiplied by the thousands since then.

It’s true, they grow up so fast. But I’m learning slowly to enjoy each day, one by one … poop explosion or not, I’m still grateful for each day I get to spend with him.

p.s. Did I mention that today with his chubby little fingers he pulled my cheeks in close to give me a kiss on the lips? Swoon!