Comments on: French Parenting

By: Jessica Taylor

Jessica Taylor — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:06:41 +0000

I haven’t even heard of this book before but now I’m pretty interested. I think Jack and Maddie have some similarities in their temperaments…. Maddie seriously will entertain herself for the longest time if I let her – but really sometimes I feel so guilty for letting her…I used to feel like I need to be constantly playing and interacting with her or I was being neglectful. But like you said I think it actually is really really good for her to be independent (at times) and see that I have other things that I am doing too.

Let me know what you think about the book when you read it! I’d love to hear what you think.

By: Leann

Leann — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 02:14:01 +0000

I’ve enjoyed hearing about this book, also, and feel there are many parenting tips I’ve tried to use with my own two kids. A huge aspect of this puzzle- comparing French parenting to American- is that French culture is much more uniform in nature than ours. There is support all around French parents- better subsidies for childcare, cost of college, work flexibility… and quite simply in parenting strategy and daily structure.

It sounds like the author of this blog is doing a lovely job with her son. However, it’s not too difficult to control your child’s world when they’re 15 months old. Soon the school years hit, and your kid sees that his classmates pack candy in their lunch at school, talk back to their parents without consequences, etc., and life gets a lot trickier!

Don’t get me wrong, diversity is great. It’s the reason my French friends who’ve chosen to make the State home often cite as the draw– that French culture can be so totalitarian. However, removing all the questioning most new parents face with small day-to-day parenting decisions must seriously reduce anxiety– for the parents and for the children.

By: Alie

Alie — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:27:57 +0000

Garin, I TOTALLY agree! Kids need boundaries. I think in America the kids are too often in charge and it leads to the absurd behavior we see in public. That’s interesting about Elijah wanting the door open – good for you guys, standing your ground! That’s how parenting should be.

By: Garin

Garin — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:07:59 +0000

Oops – please omit the “starting at 3 mths and” from the 2nd sentence of the 2nd paragraph.

By: Garin

Garin — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 01:06:58 +0000

I love that you’re going to read the book too! I am really looking forward to hearing about her experience, I enjoyed the WSJ article.

I read that it’s 45% personality and 55% environment (aka parenting) – and while my husband questions the validity of those percentages because I can not for the life of me remember the exact source, I think those numbers seem realistic. It drives me crazy when mothers say “Well, that’s just how they are” to excuse disobedience, ruckus behavior at church or at a restaurant, hitting, screaming, interrupting. Elijah starting at 3 mths and he plays independently frequently (which saved my behind when I had terrible morning sickness) which sometimes makes me feel a little neglectful.

He recently was scared of the dark and ask for the door to be left open. What I noticed over the next week or two that he was falling asleep later and later and waking up earlier and earlier. He was a cranky kid too – which is so usually for him. So we started being firm about the door being closed, after reasurring him he was safe (like 10 times before the door was shut). Worked like a charm – happy AND not scared of the dark anymore.

Kids need boundaries. I think we’ve lost that in how much of our society parents. Some here may think the French are too strict (borderline abusive, at least I’ve heard stories about this) but clearly kids here need more structure and to learn greater respect for authority and less instant gratification.

By: Holland

Holland — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:03:47 +0000

I’ve read some about Bringing up Bebe, too, recently, and it seems the ideas are sound. I’m glad to hear your success!!